Monday, January 2, 2012

I like my best friend; Jim and Pam from The Office type thing. Need help a lot please?

Okay so me and this girl Caroline are best friends. We have been for about 6 months and I eventually developed feelings for her. I told her I liked her about 3 months ago and I said I don't want it to get awkward and she didn't say anything of importance, mainly just "Oh okay well cool. And don't worry it won't get awkward." I told her I was fine being friends because I knew whether or not she would go out with me, she wouldn't want to risk our friendship after we broke up because she doesn't have all too many friends just having moved here, plus we're such good friends. Well, we talk legitimately 18 hours a day either texting or calling and see each other a lot and the more we do the more I like her. Basically right now I'm having trouble being just friends because she's like...the perfect girl for me and I've never really liked a girl like this. Well last night we were talking and we brought up who we'd have with and stuff just asking questions so I said "Who would you with from school?" and she said, "Well you're my best friend so idk and everyone else is girls" (cause we're not really friends with any guys at my school that she would even think to do it with). Because the idea of us going further was brought up I thought it'd be a good time to tell her how i felt. I told her I'm not okay being friends and kind of asked her out without asking if you get what I mean. I also said the LAST thing I want is for her to think that if she doesn't go out with me then she'll lose my friendship or feel like she has to. She told me she didn't want to lose my friendship because I'm like the only person she can be herself around and she values it more than anyone's friendship. It could just be an excuse for her not wanting to because she's not attracted to me or whatever other reason, but I don't know. Later on I told her I really can't hang out with her and talk to her as much as we do while just being friends because I like her so much and I said to just give me the weekend to think about it. She said she understood. But now we're texting and talking today as friends and I know that in another bit of time, a week or maybe a month, I'm going to not be able to take it again and this will happen again. I really don't know what to do because I don't think I'm gonna be able to not be friends with her but at the same time I can't be just friends with her and be this close. I feel trapped. I have no idea what to do and I brought in the Jim and Pam from The Office (a TV show for those who don't know) where Jim does this EXACT same thing and Pam responds the EXACT same way so Jim moves away and they don't talk anymore (only to eventually get married later on but that's besides the point haha). I'm a 16 year old kid so this isn't an option. What do I do? How do I handle this? I'm going to go crazy and just get really depressed if I stay friends and nothing more and ESPECIALLY if she gets a boyfriend that I have to see which is inevitable. Do I stop talking to her as much and move on? What do I do? I know this is about 2000+ words and I thank ya'll who read it haha. Thanks!

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